butt-goddess: The Goddess’ tips on analSince I’ve been asked a few times already, I finally decided…

butt-goddess:

The Goddess’ tips on anal

Since I’ve been asked a few times already, I finally decided to post something like this.

🌟 First things first, be clean. I always like to be perfectly shaved and put some cream on, but this is not necessary. Just clean the area in where you’re going to do it, you don’t want dust, dirt, sand or anything like that in there. Wash your hands and get started.

🌟 Lube, my old friend. If everybody shitted peppermint and candies, the Mentos company would be over. So don’t worry, everyone knows what butts are for, and lube is the answer. Saliva and water based lubricants feel like heaven down there. But this isn’t a poop repellent, it just makes it more difficult for it to get sticked to fingers, dicks or toys, so try going to the bathroom first. Enemas are also a good answer for this, though. This way it won’t hurt either, lube is the solution for all your problems!

*Note: If your partner laughs at you/finds it disgusting if something comes out, DUMP THEM, THIS IS A SIGN THAT THEY DON’T DESERVE YOU (and also that they don’t know how the digestive system works).

🌟 Don’t do it if you aren’t in the mood. It’ll hurt and you’ll cry and I won’t be there to hug you so I’ll cry too. First time I did it, I went directly for the dick and it felt like I was going to be ripped in two. Don’t rush, anal takes patience. This leads us to the fourth point.

🌟 Start from scratch. Everytime. Even an anal goddess like me needs to be fingered first. Once I tried to fist myself right after going out of the shower and even if I was horny af, I bled like I was giving birth Satan itself. So please please please, be fingered and well lubed, take as much time as you need.

🌟 The best offense is a good defense… or at least in anal! No one wants to catch an ugly disease, so please, wear protection if you’re going to do it with a partner.

Some last quick tips: oiled based lubes may cause bad reactions back there, never put sharp objects inside (and of course, make sure your nails are filed) and, in case you make it with a partner, be sure both sides want it. Oh, and keep in mind that porn is not reality. Enjoy!

Excellent advice for all anal fans.